Click here for Pictures from the party. There will be more pictures in the next few days.
Quick Reference
| Pre Party FAQ's | Post Party FAQ's |
| 1st Email Invitation | 2nd Email Invitation |
| 3rd Email Invitation | Directions |
| Thanks | Costume Contest |
| Aftermath | Apology |
| Lessons | Future |
Before I get into how things went, I would like to acknowledge a few people that really helped make the Goodmeat House of Horror a success.
First and Foremost, I have to thank Gloria. She was the
brains behind this whole endeavor. The food, the decorated rooms, the atmosphere would not have happened without
her input and supervision. She is my muse and raison d'etre.
Second, I have to thank Melissa. She graciously allowed us to borrow some of her own Halloween artifacts to put the right touch on our displays. She also greatly assisted Gloria in the Design and flow of the house.
Thirdly, I would like to thank Jeff and
Marit for showing up early and helping Gloria and I make the finishing touches on the house. Also, you took the
helm when Gloria and I were getting into our costumes.
Fourthly, I would like to thank Madison and
Gage for putting up with Gloria and I during the set up and for helping with the odd task after being asked 19.000
times.
Fithly, I would like to
thank Randy for helping out with the outside decorations and the pumpkin carving, as well as picking up some of the
catered food. I know it was hard driving with the food in your car and I appreciate the willpower it must of took to
abstain from eating it.
Lastly, I would like to thank
everyone who came to the party, we could not have done it without you, and we would have felt very dumb if no one
showed up. We probably would have had to invite our German neighbors who hate us as a last resort. Thank you for
preventing that from happening.
The costume contest was an epic battle of titanic proportions. For some, dreams became reality, for others, hopes were dashed against the unforgiving rocks of home-made costume desperation. I sat in judgment and made my decisions based on the cheers and jeers of the party participants.
First place, and recipient of the Golden Rockem-Sockem Robot trophy was Jones, for his excellent rendition of Bender from Futurama. Even though he could not play rock band while wearing it (which almost DQ'ed him), the crowd overwhelmingly voted him into first place.
Second place, and recipient of the Goodmeat Tenderizer of Death was Cal as Ace Ventura. What cinched it for Cal was his ability to act out certain parts of the movie. Since the Ace Ventura movie is over 10 years old now, the shtick seemed surprisingly fresh.
Third place, and recipient of nothing (hey, I did not plan on third place), was Randy as the One Night Stand. Randy was a shoe-in to take it all home, until the party started and other people arrived. I think he still may have had a chance until a crowd heckler (Mike, it is presumed) booed him during the judging.
Upon hearing the heckling, Randy responded with, "I have something for you in my bottom drawer."
Rock band was played, food was eaten, alcohol was consumed. Only one person had the nerve to arrive without a
costume. This person, who shall remain nameless (Here is a hint, Pe*** Mar*****) tried to wear only a lone ranger
mask with his normal street clothes. If you know who I am talking about, be sure to ridicule him mercilessly. Here are some key highlights:
Even the most thorough planning can not prepare you for every contingency. Here are some things that I noticed need to be remedied for next time.
- More lumpias, less lunch meat.
- Take some video. I have a video camera, but was so busy, I forgot about it.
- Bring more Tarantula so Randy does not drink it all.
- Hold party on a day other than Oct 31. This may make it easier for people to arrange babysitters and such. Lets shoot for Dec 25.
Start thinking about your costume early so we can all be ready for next year. It will be sometime near the end of October. Clear your calenders now. If you will not be here next year, we can all pity you, since there is no way you will be able to attend a better, more kick-ass party. Also, if you were not invited, start sucking up as soon as possible. If you were bad boy/girl at the party (eg. you booed someone at the costume contest, or you made a costume you could not wear the whole time, or you brought shitty candy, or you ate all the lumpias, or you drank all my Tarantula ), you should start sucking up as well. If we keep these elite parties going, within the next three years or so, we will have a nice little elitist group of jerks that can think very highly of themselves while shunning others. Isn't that really what life is all about anyway?
Warning, the following email contains crude humor, strong language, sexual connotations, and abstract violence which may be unsuitable for children under 18.
On October 31st 2008, my wife and I will be hosting an SCB Halloween party at our house in Waldmohr. As everyone knows, the hosting of a Halloween party does not come without great responsibility. I have compiled a list of Halloween party responsibilities, and have listed them below.
- A Halloween party must have…
- at least one depiction, or diorama, if you will, of some sort of human butcher shop, with brutal eviscerations of body parts and such.
- at least one area in the house where Rock Band is played.
- the obligatory Satanic altar near the Rock Band area.
- candy
- food and drinks
- Combat Spoons
- other scary things as well
My responsibility as party host will be to ensure that all of the Halloween party responsibilities will be seen to. Some of this stuff will be scary, so the bringing of small children may not be the best idea, unless you want to sit in one of the non-decorated rooms with your screaming children. My kids are 13 and 12 respectively, and they have no issues with any of the things on display. If you are ok with your children sustaining long-lasting emotional damage from the sheer terror of the items on display, by all means, bring them.
Remember, all of these things are in the spirit of Halloween. I am in no way endorsing murder or Satanism, or the eating of candy.
There will be responsible drinking. I enjoy drinking while partaking in Rock Band. I sing so much better (louder) while mildly intoxicated, just ask anyone. I will have some alcohol, but if there is something specific that you really want to drink, feel free to bring it yourself. Also, HAVE A PLAN. We have some room downstairs if someone gets hammer drunk and needs to sleep it off. I will not allow anyone to leave that has been drinking unless they have a designated driver (those lifesaving nerds).
I know many people have been to other work Halloween parties in the past. There are things that go on at those parties that will not be going on at my party. I am not going to go into specifics, but let’s just say that there is a reason for this being an SCB only party. I don’t need any inappropriate bullshit going on. There will be no flashing or motorboating! I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but it’s my party, and you should feel honored that I am inviting you and respect my wishes.
Just because I don’t want any inappropriate bullshit going on, does not mean that there will be no fun. As I said, there will be Rock Band, probably a few games of combat spoons, drinking, and who knows what else. There will be plenty to gawk at. I am even designing a trophy for the winner of the costume contest. Did I mention that the wearing of a costume is mandatory? Well, the wearing of a costume is mandatory.
This is merely a precursor email to let everyone know about the impending merriment. There will be more information to come.
I you can think of anyone that is within our SCB family that I did not get on the distro list, feel free to ask me if it’s ok to invite them.
Regards
Brooks
Read and HEED!!!
Let it be known that this is the official invitation to the below mentioned Halloween costume party. This party will from here on be known officially as "The Goodmeat Halloween Extravaganza Spectacular." This "party" will be hosted at the Goodmeat House of Horrors, located in Waldmohr. The full address is below. Please let me know if you are coming as soon as possible, so I can get the correct amount of food/party favors. Did I say party favors? Of course I did.
There will also be an appearance of the "Goodmeat Tenderizer of Death." (GTOD) What is the "Goodmeat Tenderizer of Death?" Well, I am glad I pretended you asked. The GTOD it is a very powerful epic weapon forged during the middle ages to thwart the spread of religion and was wielded by ancestors of the Goodmeat family for many, many years, at least since middle ages. You will be able to see this awesome weapon first hand, and one lucky party attendant will be awarded this weapon for winning the limbo contest (or some other stupid event, not sure about that yet)
There will also be a trophy given out for the best costume. This trophy will be awesome, and nothing like the stupid "can of beans with a Barbie on top attached to a ruler" piece of shit that was given out recently for kickball. The Goodmeat House of Horrors trophy will probably involve a can of ravioli.
Here is the full address
7 Am Muhlweiher 66914 Waldmohr
Parking will be a pain in the ass, but there is a lot at the end of our street that is adjacent to a restaurant. Feel free to park there and walk to the house.
For you graphic types, here is a graphic invitation.
http://www.goodmeat.net/images/good-hh-inv3.jpg
Regards
Brooks and Gloria
Ok, we are at T-7 Days now. I am going to go over some things...
The party starts at about 7:00pm ish, give or take an hour or two. I know that there is Trick or Treating to be had this day as well, so if you must take your children trick or treating, go ahead.
Here is a link to Google Maps on how to get to the house from the A-6/A-62 interchange:
If you are not using a GPS, make sure you zoom into the last bit of the journey to make sure you understand the directions. Our Home Phone number is 06373-506-854. Call in case you get lost.
There will be food, and some alcohol, but again, if there is something specific you want, you need to bring it, I will have some coolers available. I will provide a jubilee of soft drinks for your imbibing pleasure.
Make sure you wear a costume.
Bring some candy.
- Do I have to bring candy?
Yes, Gloria has found many ghoulish vases, urns, buckets...plastic spooky candy holder thingys, if I may, that need to be filled. Your candy donation will help fill these things. I assure you, at least 1.78% of all candy not eaten at the party will be brought into work for all to enjoy. - Do I have to wear a costume?
Yes!!!!!!111eleven!!!111! For the love of God, Satan, Jebus, Allah, Vishnu, etc, wear a damn costume. This is a once a year thing (possibly once in a lifetime depending on how this all goes). Asking if costumes are mandatory is akin to asking if I am excellent at Rock Band. The answer to both questions is the same. - What is the date of the party?
Uhhhh, 31 Oct 2008. - What time does it start?
7:00pm-ish. This is to allow for Trick or Treaters and such. - How do I get there?
Here is the link, there is also a picture I drew a few years back at the bottom of this page. The actual address is Am Muhlweiher 7
66914 Waldmohr
- Can I bring kids?
Of course, but there will be drinking, and cursing probably, and scary stuff. I would say that if your kid is at least 10, he/she should be ok. Ultimately, It is up to the discretion of the parent. - You really seem full of yourself; your wife must be a saint to put up with you.
That is not a question, but yeah she is a saint. Everything she does is art. - What about Designated Drivers?
Everyone must have a plan, as long as the plan does not involve driving drunk. If your plan is to pass out on the floor, that is fine, just dont drive home drunk. We all know the deal, we get briefings at work and see shitty commercials on TV that tell us not to drink and drive. We are all adults and can act appropriately. Figure something out! - Do I have to wear a costume?
- What is wrong with you?
Well, it has always been a dream of ours (mine and Gloiria's) to have a party that shows the world how sick and twisted we are. I believe that dream has come true. We also really want to piss off our German neighbors. I think they tried to poison our dogs. - Do you really worship Satan?
Yes, wait, no, ummmm, well, how can I believe in something that does not exist? Although I do think the idea of Satan as depicted by 80's hair metal is "hella bitchin"! - Do you really endorse murder?
Not so much endorse. I am more of a dabbler. Actually, Gloria and I chose to make a murder spectacle of our downstairs basement to further the cause of desensitizing today's youth. Why should movies and video games get all the credit? - Do you hate human babies?
No, not when they are quiet. Actually, dolls are a cheap and easy way to make bloody halloween props. If there were lifesize human bodies available at the area thrift stores, we would have used them. Sadly, the only places you can get a lifesize human doll around here are the places I dont feel right visiting. - I had a grandfather/Husband/Roommate/Brother/co-worker that died in a horrible accident while working on an oil rig and your realistic depictions of death in your basement area really disturbed me. Can you help me cope with the old painful feelings you have so thoughtlessly forced upon me?
ummm, no. - Do you really worship Satan?
Click on picture for a larger version
I would like to take this time to share something with all of you.
Some of you may know that I am very concerned about appearances. Not so much physical appearances (that is obvious just looking at me), but how certain words and actions can be perceived. In one of the party invitations, I specifically spoke about "inappropriate bullshit." Normally I have an eagle-eye when it comes to spotting this sort of behaivor, and and acid-tongue when it comes to complaining about it. Sadly, and most hypocritically, I have a hard time noticing it when I am inappropriate myself, or when someone is using me as a tool to act inappropriate.That being said, I would like to apologize to all at the Goodmeat House of Horror for any inappropriateness that may have occurred on my part. Some things happened that I was not ready for and/or not aware of at the time due to alcohol. I allowed things to happen that should not have happened. To some, these things may seem minor, but rest assured, they could be/have been viewed in an unfavorable light and has resulted in anger, hurt feelings, and confusion for some of the party goers. I know I am being vague, but everyone closely involved knows the deal and I hope we can put this all behind us. I will do better next time as host and I hope to see you all at the Goodmeat House of Horrors next year.
